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Sunday, October 01, 2006

• Christmas Stalking - so not welcome. Christmas stalking is defined as one of those people that slowly trail behind you as you walk down the row of a parking lot at a mall. I mean, c'mon - do you really need to go 2 mph to get my parking space which is farther away than one of the open ones? Hello - get a clue. Should you care to stalk my space, you can rest assured I will take my time rearranging my bags, fixing my makeup, readjusting my seatbelt, charging my phone AND selecting just that perfect song on the ipod. Move on, people - move on.
• Christmas Stalking people with children - something to think about. What if that child breaks free as you are trailing ohsoclosebehind that person that you are Christmas Stalking. That child and you might connect, and that would NOT be pretty - find another parking space.
• Stop Signs - One Must Stop. You see that pretty red sign. Yes, the one with the angles? It says S.T.O.P. What that means is YOU STOP at the sign, look both ways, and THEN proceed. Do not say oops and continue to chat on your cell phone, nearly missing hitting someone.
• SLOW DOWN. Seriously - parking lots are not drag races. The mall or the stores are not going anywhere.
• Park BETWEEN the lines. No, not ON the lines. Not diagonal from the lines. Not Near the lines. BETWEEN the lines.
• Tuna Can Parking also not allowed. Tuna can parking is when you just squeeze into a space because you see an open one and there isn't enough space for your big azz car, rendering the person on the other side helpless as they must crawl in through THEIR passenger door and over the seat because the parker was inconsiderate. Find another parking space.
• Flyer Something Else Please. Parking Lots are NOT places to put flyers for "Earn Money From Home" or some other bullshiate. Rest assured, if anyone puts one of those damn flyers on my car and I see him/her papering other vehicles, we're going to have a talk and I can guarantee he/she is going to have extra flyers as I pull the ones in my vicinity and return to them all while getting the number and cussing out the PR department of said company that handles that.
• Mall Parking Lot Guards - ummm.. yeah. I'd much rather deal with a sheriff than someone armed with a hairspray can and a quasi 'tude who didn't seem to get into the academy/etc. Even private security companies are a bit higher up on the food chain. So when Mr. Mall Parking Lot attendant *ahem, I mean* Guard decides to tell me to "hurry up" - know your role - I'd rather be a cautious driver than deal with your dumb azz. Ya understand? You need to take care of the offenders of the other above referenced offences and try to get people to slow the @#*# down.

That's just a few - I'm sure I'll think of more. However, I think I'm going to brave the mall again and get these Ta.Dah knee boots from Torrid - So CUTE!!

Posted by Lys :: 10:29 AM :: 0 comments

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