Just Because...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Warning - grab that coffee cuz this gal is heated.

When growing up, when I got punished, my parents were old fashioned. My dad is an ex-marine and I was more afraid of his "in your face" soldier talk than my mom whuppin' me. When I got older and my mom had "issues" shall we say *cough cough* Baileys/Drambuie/any other type of firewater *cough cough*, I did get my azz beat. My mom was far from a saint, but we already worked through that - Anywayz. That's really not the issue here.

I'm a firm believer that punishment is a parent's option and spanking is not "abuse" and time outs are not "neglect". When I do have children, I will follow my dad's example (and not my mom's) and not get all "mamsy-pansie" as my grandfather would call it. Now - mind you, this is my opinion - so keep the hate mail to a minimum por favor. In my opinion, kids today are too disrespectful of their elders and I'm amazed daily at stories of how kids are behaving. Kids are great at manipulation (I should know - I used to be one of those kids). Kids are good at really knowing who to work to get what they want. Kids are growing up at a MUCH younger age and drinking/smoking/having sex, etc. before they even hit sophomore year in high school. I didn't grow up in some Midwestern town - I grew up in a suburb of a city up north and I always say, "My parents would have KILLED me if I did that".

I've noticed recently that kids today, when they get punished and have a toy taken away or spanked or told "NO", they scream "abuse". When they are told "NO" or told to have a "Time Out" they scream "neglect" or, in some cases, (like my friend's case), the kids stories are blown out of proportion by teachers or other people with no supporting evidence. I'm all for teachers or doctors reporting the legit cases, but people, seriously - do some sort of Nancy Drew type investigation before ya get all Chicken Little. Make sure you have evidence. And, for God's sake, if you have an axe to grind, do NOT call DSS for a non-legit case. Our system is already overstretched as it is.

Now - the basis for my rant - One of my good friends heard from the state that they are "investigating" her for "neglect". NEGLECT? This woman is one of the best mothers I have ever known. Hell, my mom should have taken lessons from her. She's not neglectful of her children at all. What happened was, her son was told "NO", got in trouble and the next day, to get back at his mom, he told his teacher "My mom beat me". I've stayed with this woman and I know, for a fact, she doesn't beat her children. This son is in his early teens, having a hard time adjusting to a new school and concocted this cockamamie story for a little attention from the teacher that wasn't negative. This teacher, without calling my friend or finding out the facts, just immediately went to DSS with this crock.

This woman has given up so much for these kids and is always there for them 150%. So how DARE the state say she's "neglectful". Not to mention, this is the same state where a friggin' governor closes public transportation to and from Logan Airport at midnight. UGH! Again, I digress but my blood is boiling. Seriously, how can a state just made an allegation like that and say it's supported but how?

Is it because she has a career and is not living off the state?
Is it because she went to school and made something of herself?
Is it because she had the NERVE to challenge the school board for someone beating up her child on the bus and the bus driver (and school) did nothing?
Is it because she put this teacher on blast for what happened to her son and the teacher dismissing her son saying that by the boy having a ball, he provoked the other kid to beat the crap out of him?
Is it because she isn't afraid to stand up for herself or her children and put someone on blast? (With much more class than I could ever muster, if I may say so myself).

I just don't understand it.

What about the state being neglectful and not getting child support for her children. What about the state dropping the ball when it comes to finding this deadbeat dad and making him pay. Wait - I'm sorry - is it different agencies? Are they suffering from communication issues?

When does DSS draw the line and figure out what are real charges and what are unsupported? Til they decide to right their wrong, my friend is branded with a scarlet letter while they "investigate". However, this is the same agency that has let many children remain in abusive households and fall through the cracks. So, the time they are using to investigate these false allegations, they could be focusing on children who really do need help i.e. Haleigh Poutre, the girl in Westfield, MA who was severely beaten by her adoptive mother. Note - in that case, DSS is being investigated for "lack of communication" which could have kept poor little Haleigh "out of harms way". Not to mention DSS is being put on blast for trying to pull Haleigh off life support. It's just so sad.

Seriously - Massachusetts - get your priorities straight!! And I really hope that after my friend is vindicated, that the teacher AND DSS is put on blast in Western Massachusetts. I want a front row seat to see that one!

Posted by Lys :: 5:18 PM :: 1 comments

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Just Because...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006