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The Ultimate Smackdown Approacheth...

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Just Because...
Just Because...

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Ultimate Smackdown Approacheth...

Sunday will be a day that I decide to hole up like a hermit in Altamonte and not even venture NEAR Orlando. Why, you ask - because Orlando is the home of Wrestlemania XXXXXXIZ-Whatever. We are going to have wrestlers, fans and the ever present groupies around the city and it will, indeed, wreck havoc.

I stopped watching wrestling years ago but - in my defense, my friend had a severe crush on a wrestler and often would watch the matches, etc. Yes, I have attended a Wrestlemania and it's a madhouse. Granted I was a guest of a wrestler - we'll call him "M" and he watched out for me like a little sister of sorts. Back in the day when I was friends with H., his cousin M. was part of the WWF and many shows I'd hear "Lys - there's tix for you at the window". As my gal V. had the hots for Bret Hart pretty severely, we would go to the matches and we'd have a good time. Then after the match we'd go out to dinner/cocktails whatever with M. and his buds. Some of the groupies' antics were definitely memorable. Looking back, there were quite a few where I'd say "WTH?" and "What the heck are they wearing". Now, looking back, I remember MY outfits and think "WTH" and "What the heck was I wearing??". I remember seeing some of the various wrestlers backstage - pissed and upset over some of the stupidest things but getting pumped up for a match. I remember Vince McMahon when he was "much skinnier" and not as "pumped up". I remember some of the wrestlers' kids and their moms - again, good people. Lots of memories and lots of good times.

However - Wrestlemania was the big event every year. V. and I headed down to Atlantic City to hang out and when we were at the hotel - it was gorgeous. I remember EJ's cousin had a favorite wrestler and all he wanted was an autograph. I was determined to get that autograph. Often, the wrestlers knew to not even step to me as M. wouldn't let some of the vile ones within 10 feet of us. So, here we are, having "cocktails" (they had cocktails - M. made sure I had diet coke - I was only 18 at the time) and I'm sitting on the couches laughin' with some of the big "bad guys" who, in all reality, were some of the NICEST guys -very down to earth, genuine and just straight up real. Well - I see this big mammoth guy walkin' by and remembered EJ's cousin's wish for the autograph so, sweet little Lys went up to him to ask nicely. His response to my simple request was so rude and vulgar, I basically told him to jump in the ocean off a short pier and was in a huff. That, my friends, was my most vivid memory of Wrestlemania. (I later saw this wrestler one night in LA with MB when we went to dinner - again, yeah - remembered what a slimebag he was and he still hasn't changed.)

A few years later, Wrestlemania was in Hartford and Mark wanted to go. He had seen the pictures, heard the stories but was upset that I had never taken him to a match or show. Fine, okay. So I made a few calls and we hung out with the guys pre and post show. As we are all hanging out, one wrestler came up to me (some unknown idjiot), ripped open my jacket - looked at the *ahem* cleavage and asked Mark "Are these real?" DOH! Again, this unknown idjiot should have known not to step to me. Of course Mark didn't do a damn thing, but the wrestlers who knew M. did. Again, more groupies, again chaos. Such is the life of Wrestlemania.

My days of dealin' with wrasslin' are long over. Many are still in the WWE/WWF whatever but we don't keep in touch. I've learned that many live around these parts and that's cool - one even is in Altamonte (haven't seen him yet but as I need a personal trainer, I think I'm going to have to give him a call). M. still lives here with his family and the last time I saw him was back when H. & I were close. H.'s cuz, Fus, keeps me up to date with the latest with M. and crew.

Today, as I'm walking back from my 'Bucks retreat, I see this big honkin' sign advertising the imminent arrival of Wrestlemania. :::sigh:::. WWE will be in Orlando and the big show is on Sunday. That means, starting tomorrow my haven will no longer be MY haven. I'm going to run into these big honkin' mammoth men and groupies galore as I'm running to get my 'Bucks. Fans will descend on Orlando invigorating its economy, clogging the roadways and the news will showcase all the stupidity that ultimately follows a wrestling event. Inevitably, during my travels I know I will happen to see men with hairweaves *cough* SM *cough* and other individuals that will bring back the memories of so many "interesting" times. Times when I would see them more as individuals and less as a character on a screen. Times when I would hear whispers of what they would do on the d/l. Times when I would see them acting *ahem* intrastin'. And, I'll be the same sweet not so little Lys who will be "Hey - how ya been" all while keepin' it at a distance.

Because that world and I really don't need to collide again.

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Posted by Lys :: 6:39 PM :: 3 comments

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