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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"I'm About To Give You Away For Someone Else To Take"... No Doubt

I love No Doubt -sometimes their lyrics really hit home. Anyways, in the period of reflection, both on the trip home from all points north and over the past week or so, I've decided to pretty much fade a couple friendships into obscurity. Obviously I'm not going to name who here, but it's pretty much evident to those closest to me.

One of them - s/he pretty much comes out of obscurity whenever s/he needs something - or I start to lay roots and make a life for myself. I just can't seem to figure out the justification. And whenever s/he is in a relationship - friendships are where? It's been a constant for over 10 years with this person off and on and personally, I just need to cut him/her loose. And it seems that when I start to move forward with my life in a new direction, this person pops up like "HI, I miss you. Come home." blah blah blah. I don't have time for his/her shenanigans. Yeah, it was the whole coulda should woulda back in the day - I screwed it up, but part of me wonders if I subconsciously knew that there was no need to further anything beyond a certain point. I'm grateful for the role s/he played in my life, the support they did give when I needed it most but I just can't be bothered with the day to day.

Another one of them - this one is tough. I've been cool with this cat for over 20 years. We've had our spats over the years, but there's always been this bond. Over the past couple of years, this person has been quite the donald downer. I'm all about being there for people and have no issue with that, but it seems like this person is all about attracting negative energy. I've tried to address it with the person - it's not happening. There is no change. And, sadly, while I love this person dearly, I'm going to have to say "Best of luck to you" and call it a day. I'll be civil - there's no need to not be with this person, but I don't need to further a friendship with them. And watching them make life choices that are bad over, and over, and over again is killing me. Their insecurity is breeding a whole mess of problems and personally, I just can't sit idly by when they are setting themselves up for repeated failure. I guess this is the tough love stance, but when some stuff came to light - I just sat there and went "You know what - I don't need any part of that. I wish him/her the best, but hot damn. I'm done."

So, yes - there are changes in all aspects of my life at the moment. It's a bit confusing, but I think in the long run it will pay off for my peace of mind. I just can't and won't be someone's doormat. That's not a role I will ever play again. I also recognized the fact that I often attract wounded birds and I feel the urge to help/fix. But if I can help/fix them - who's helping/fixing me. I need to focus on the important first and that is getting my life together first. I'm no good to anyone if I'm wounded myself, right?

Labels: Blog 365, Random Mess

Posted by Lys :: 12:51 PM :: 6 comments

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