Just Because...: Holli's Tale...

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Holli's Tale...

OK, so I promised y'all a situation that I was made privy to last week and, of course, names were changed to protect the identities of all involved. We're going to need a diagram/chart of all the players so grab a cocktail and hurry back. You are going to need it. I’ll even share my Blueberi Stoli if that helps.

Holli, an old friend of mine from way back when, is in a quandary. I know if anyone has some fabu advice, it's you guys. And I know that you will definitely have some thoughts/opinions that might help a gal because, clearly, my brain stopped firing on this subject as of 8:00 p.m. last night.

Holli called me late one night last week with the announcement "Lys, Azzhat [Holli's boyfriend] just got arrested for non-payment of child support!" Me, being the supportive wench I am, immediately made a mental note to break his damn kneecaps when I saw him next. I try to be nice but I've watched him hurt her over and over again. This isn't his first offense with the Child Support Coppers - more like his 3rd go-round. I am *not* a fan of Azzhat.

Now, Azzhat has NO redeeming qualities in my book. He cheats, is a pathological liar, a possessive s.o.b., mooches off everyone - basically a hot funky fried mess. He expects everyone to pay his way for everything, thinks he is quite the charmer (I disagree because I didn't fall for his mess when I first met his bald azz self) and just really treats people horribly. Me no likey. Not. at. all. And I had to vacation with that fool years ago. BLECH! He works in construction and makes (or so we thought) good money but can't account for his money whereabouts. He doesn't do drugs. He drinks but not enough to burn through the paycheck at a record pace. He doesn't appear to gamble. Therefore the money trail has everyone going "ARUUU?"

Now, for clarification, Azzhat and Holli have NO children together. Azzhat has 2 children from his previous marriage and it was his ex wife that had him arrested. Holli has one child from her prior marriage. Holli met Azzhat 2 1/2 years ago at a party and they have been dating ever since. He broke her heart when she found out he was cheating on her with some girl named Jane which he assured her was over or some mess. She took him back.

So, post arrest, I thought "Finally - he's done hurting her." That thought was quickly wisked away when Holli decided to get to the bottom of everything. All the stories. All the lies. All the phone calls. Holli investigates -that's what she does. She likes all the facts before she makes a rash decision. Well, during her "investigation", Holli met the infamous Jane who turns out was Azzhat's girlfriend of 2 years. Yes, you read that right - when Azzhat was with Holli for 2 1/2 years, he was also dating Jane two of those two and a half years. Overlap much?

Wait - it gets better. Holli goes to court with Azzhat with the plan that she and Jane are going to perhaps bail him out and yell at him a bit and tell him its over. Azzhat has two cell phones, one that stopped working because Holli stopped paying the bill and another one that was just opened through Jane's account. During the hearing, the judge threw the book at him (179 days in jail or $8k bail. Hope he enjoys his "vacation"). Well, knowing what could be on the phone, Holli, ever the investigator, gets him to open up that damn phone and turn it over to her since, as a matter of course, he can’t keep it in jail.

During this whole process, Azzhat tells her he wants to be with her and her daughter, they can be a family, here are his keys, move into his place, blah blah blah. What Holli didn't know is that Azzhat told Jane the same thing a few minutes later in the hopes that one of the two gals would bail his funky azz out. Even more comedy - Azzhat told Holli to take the titles to one of her vehicles and go to a loan shark to get the money to bail him out. Ummm.. WHAT?!?!? (I'm still red and fuming about that disclosure). Obviously, Holli did not do such a thing but you must know - it's not the first time she's bailed him out of jail and saved his behind. She also financed a truck for him back during the "good days" so that was a problem as well. If he's in jail, who makes the payments? He's already plummeted her credit report. So, not only has he soaked Holli for major money over the years as he did Jane, but now he had other women also paying for him for various things.

So, after he’s led away to the Big House, Holli starts going through the phone list. Not only were her and Jane "with" Azzhat, but there were, as of last count, 12 other women sleeping with that fool. 12 women and 2 girlfriends. One of the gals works AT Holli's job. Ummm.. That's a lot of lovin' going on, no? (And, as many disclosed later, no condoms were used. Can I get a WTF? Thank you). Azzhat was playin' the role of McLovin’ Da Gigolo. And there were 2 children in addition to his others that were born to other women, one of which resulted in a paternity test finding that Azzhat IS the father. (Quick - someone call Maury - noone knows about the other child yet if it’s really his).

I'm of the opinion that he kept Holli for the relationship, Jane for the childcare as he often left his kids with her and the other girls for everything else. Holli thinks he kept her around for the big ticket items. Azzhat seemed to prey on single women with children and had a couple bars where he would just mess around with everyone in sight. It also seems that Azzhat not only met women at the bars, his job, wherever, but also had set up profiles on all these dating sites i.e. Fling and others. He was clearly either (a) feeding a growing sex addiction; (b) looking for his next suga momma or (c) had a death wish.

From all appearances, Azzhat preyed on the women's insecurity so that they would feel like they were nothing - stress NOTHING - without him. Holli is one of the strongest women I know so when I heard about all this, needless to say I was in shock. What’s worse is the many times she would tell him it was over, he’d go head over heels to win her back with this mentality of if he couldn’t have her, noone could. And Holli is a catch - so for him and his troll like mess to pull this ish, I’m astounded.

So, over this week, Holli had to put her own pain aside and deal with the others as they heard what Azzhat was up to. There were developments galore. Girls were calling her going "But he's NOT like this!" Girls were telling her sordid details and, imo, I don't think she should have had to hear all that mess but what do I know, right?

As of last call, Jane and Holli decided that Azzhat was to rot in jail and they weren't bailing him out. So now, Azzhat should be getting out Feb. 1, 2009 unless he gets some gal to "help" him out - again. And even worse, the girls whose numbers he was furiously scribbling down before he went to the big house won't take his calls either (for now because I think a couple of them want to believe that they are "different" and that "he's changed" and that "he'd never do that to [them].”)

Seriously, it makes Mark or H. look like they were stellar relationship material. And during it all, my heart is breaking for Holli with a whole "Now what". I know I lost my temper a few times but it was due to the fact that this guy just always seems to dominate every situation and he just treated her horribly. It's going to take time for her to deal with the situation at hand. I, however, want to wring this bastid's neck.

One of our boys, Rifleman, chatted frankly with Holli about the situation. He told her to let go of the phone, drop kick this jerk to the curb and learn from the experience. As he put it simply: "No Man should EVER treat a Woman like this!"

Somehow I think he speaks wisely.

Labels: Advice, Blog 365, Friends, Random Mess

Posted by Lys :: 4:11 AM :: 2 comments

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Just Because...

Saturday, August 16, 2008