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Having A Garbo Moment

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Just Because...
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Friday, April 11, 2008

Having A Garbo Moment

It's no secret that I hate glasses. Growing up I was diagnosed with "lazy left eye" which meant that I needed to wear glasses or I couldn't see. It's gotten worse through time but that's fine. I wear contacts and, while it's taken some getting used to over the years, I much prefer that over the glasses as I tend to break or lose/misplace the glasses.

Contacts have been an adventure, especially living here in Florida by myself. They dilate my eyes which, after hitting it with sunlight, hurts like hell. I would have H. drive me to the doctor or wander around the mall for hours until dark. And, with my contacts - to show how blind as a bat I am, while my left eye needs a 4.50 lens, my right eye needs a 2.25 lens. My former eye doctor even told me "Lys, listen - you have pretty eyes and if you get glasses, you'll need such a thick lens in the left eye it will detract" and refused to give me a glasses prescription. Now I'm vain and I wouldn't wear them unless it was extreme emergency, but damn. I do know she's right though because when I did have a glasses prescription from my doctor prior, I went and ordered a gorgeous pair of Chanel frames for a trip that I was going on as my "backup" pair. When they came in, I sent those puppies back because, sure enough, it was a coke bottle lens on the left eye. I haven't looked back since.

Until today.

I also sleep in my contacts from time to time. I know, I know. Spare the lecture because I know I'm wrong. I hate not being able to see in the morning. I'm lazy vain. I wear contacts day in and day out. Yesterday, while at the 9to5, my contact in my right eye started bothering me but I dismissed it as perhaps I needed a new contact and made a note to switch it out that night. I removed it last night and went to sleep.

This morning - hell struck. Light hurt, my eye is red and ugly and oh lordy. As I didn't have glasses, I slapped a contact in and trotted off late to work after wrestling with the eye business. When my eye is that inflamed, there will be no makeup my friends. Let them see me in my natural state, I say - I'm sick. As I'm driving, SEARING pain hits. Now I have my sunglasses on but that doesn't help. The light is going THROUGH the sunglasses and burning my right eye. I blink, I squint, I'm a screaming mess on I-4, I'm in pain. I'm sure the morning commute drivers thought I was crazy but whatever. They aren't feeling the pain of red hot pokers hitting their cornea, I am. I rub the eye, I'm crying, I'm trying to keep it closed while driving slowly because, today of ALL days, I can't be out of work. Its a struggle but gloriously, I get to the 9to5 garage by the grace of God, and the garage is dark, my eye stops hurting, I can head indoors with my Greta Garbo sunglasses and resolve to call the doctor.

Next resort- track down an Ophthalmologist in Altamonte because they are going to have to dilate my eyes and I can't drive with that either. Call the wonderful ladies over at the Florida Eye clinic, make my confession about my eye issue and their initial guess: Corneal Ulcer in the eye. Their doctors are out today but they will squeeze me in Monday if need be. But, they want me in the ER today or at my normal optometrist and then call them on Monday with what happened. Apparently it's super serious.

OK, then I call she who won't give me glasses doctor who is at the Florida mall, quite a ways from my house. She knows of my sin of sleeping in my contacts and never judged me. Well, guess what, she's transferred to a new store IN TALLAHASSEE! Well, it HAS been a year and a half since my last exam so my bad for not knowing.

Next resort -call the JC Penny Optical office by my apartment in Altamonte and they were awesome. They are squeezing me in today. I also confessed my sin of sleeping in the contact to them over the phone and she said "We'll remove the contact, Lys and don't worry". YAY! There's light at the end of the tunnel.

I check my 9to5 benefits here and guess what, I have to go to SEARS optical, Wal-Mart or Target. WHAT THE HECK? As Sears is also in the mall across from my house, I call tell the gal my problem and she says "The earliest I can get you in is Tuesday afternoon". Tuesday afternoon - does she NOT know that a Corneal ulcer, left untreated can make me BLIND? IS she NUTZ? I express my issue to her and she comments, "Well I really can't squeeze you in until Tuesday. I'm sorry. Perhaps Lenscrafters, our sister store can". Dummy - your sister store is NOT covered by the inept vision plan here at the 9to5, I have to pay full price. She's like "Well that will be expensive but I can fit you in on Tuesday".

Oh hell to the no. Now the Vision Plan and I have to talk and have a come to Jesus meeting and they tell me "Well we are only for ROUTINE care. You'll have to speak to Blue Cross about the other.". :::Sigh::: Now a cocktail is needed.

My decision - I'll pay full price, go to JC Penny and the Florida Eye Clinic and add this up to the curses of the @*#*#*# benefits we are experiencing here at the 9to5 because, personally, an eye patch for me is NOT fabulous.

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Posted by Lys :: 12:20 PM :: 4 comments

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