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A Letter to My Neighbors...

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Just Because...
Just Because...

Sunday, April 27, 2008

A Letter to My Neighbors...

Now, I love my apartment and all, the quietness one hears at night even though there's a busy street nearby - reminds me of growing up in a quiet neighborhood, and the fabulous people that work at some of my normal haunts.

My neighbors, however, are quite the eclectic bunch. And, after this weekend, here are some of my observations:
  1. To the Yahoo with Napoleon issues who decided to throw a temper tantrum when he got to the gate, only to flip his car around, almost hit the person in back of him during his illegal u-turn and then take up three spots parking while he took the ELEVATOR back up to the second floor: Yo, you obviously weren't in THAT much of a rush if you had to WAIT for the elevator rather than run up one flight of stairs. Also, don't get all "let me blare my wonk-ass wack wanna be mixtape hip hop" after I confront you about your whacky whack whack parking job and endangering the neighbors. Obviously, you ain't ALL that.
  2. To the gal downstairs that walked INTO me while I was getting OFF the elevator and wouldn't let me get OFF the elevator so she can get on: Learn your manners!
  3. To the old Bill Cosby wanna be that looked at my butt and started soundin' like a KFC commercial: There's a thin line between appreciative and lewd. You, Mr. CosbyWannaBe took lewd to a whole 'nother level. Now I'm taught to respect my elders and all but since you crossed that line, I obviously don't have to respect you. You pull that mess again, I will put you in check right quick - don't think I won't.
  4. To the two teens tweakin' in the PLAYGROUND and then actin' all suspicious like: You idjiots got a serious set of cojones - but glad to see you put that crap away when the Orlando PD who lives in the apartment complex rolled on up. Get yourselves to rehab and if I see you doin' that mess again on the complex PLAYGROUND where children PLAY you can rest assured I'll call the PD my damn self. And no, that doesn't smell like "weed' dumbazz.
  5. To the lovelorn neighbor on the third floor blaring Backstreet Boys and other sad songs: I'm sorry for whatever loss you have incurred but do me a favor - we're in the Orlando area. NOOONE wants to hear that Backstreet's back, mmmmmkkkkaaayyyy? Flip that dial, KThxBai!

Yeah - my neighbors can be quite eclectic, yeah, that sounds right.

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Posted by Lys :: 9:00 PM :: 4 comments

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