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Friday, March 24, 2006

Here are some helpful guidelines to remember when you are traveling OFF Disney property and into the general population. Being that I happen to reside near one of the gates, I've been able to observe quite a bit over the past 5 years and frankly, after this morning, I have about reached my tolerance level.

• Should you drive off Disney property and are from another country, whether it is England, Europe, whatever please obey THIS country's driving laws. That includes driving on the correct side of the road, using hand/turn signals, etc. Do not drive down the wrong side of the road while trying to sip your coffee that you just got from McDonalds while screaming "What the Bloody Hell!" at the people telling you that you are driving the wrong way.
• While driving, please be so kind as to observe speed limits in the residential areas. Just because you are driving down 535, does not mean that you can play GoGo Speed Racer as you rush to make it to the liquor store and Winn Dixie before it closes.
• Realize that when the white cross walk light is on, pedestrians have the right of way. Also remember that it is not your duty to race after my roommate threatening to clip her with your bumper in a game of "tag the American girl".
• Know that any grocery store in the plaza across from Disney is a trap. They will swindle your money and act all hoity-toity. Also know that the particular McDonalds in the same plaza has increased their prices to "accommodate tourism dollars". Go to Sandlake People. SANDLAKE!
• Should you need gas, it is wise to not buy gas near the parks. Its $2.85 but if you go down Sandlake it's $2.39. For a frugal fashionista local like moi - that extra $.46 per gallon can be used toward my new wardrobe, shoes or handbag collection.
• Please, Please, Please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, at 8:15 in the morning, do NOT, stress DO NOT, drive into the 7/11, stop your car midway through the entrance, stop and sit there talking on your phone giggling uncontrollably thereby effectively blocking traffic in and out and causing locals to gesture wildly at said offender.
• Do not look at me like I'm crazy when you do it again and put your head down covering your face, still talking on the phone as you again stop traffic in the opposite direction.
• Recognize that there are actual people who LIVE in this area and please take the care to be considerate. Should you choose to ignore, do not get all hillbilly pissy when my roommate or I look at you and say "What the HELL is YOUR problem?" We're from the north. We're not polite southerners.

I'm sure there are many other "guidelines, but after the giggling 7/11 bimbo, I'm at my wits end. Next time I see her, I will knock on her window and, ala a Bugs Bunny cartoon, grab her damn cellphone and stomp on it with my stiletto. If anything, the Orange County Sheriffs would appreciate my thoughtfulness in getting yet another tourist cell phone offender off the streets.

Posted by Lys :: 3:38 PM :: 0 comments

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