Just Because...: Hurricane Wilma approaches...

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Hurricane Wilma approaches...

Well - Sunday Night - and preparations are at hand for Hurricane Wilma. My old boss joked the other day, "Wilma?? Wonder what Fred did to make her that mad!??!?!?!" Har Har Har *insert roll eyes here*

Seriously - hurricanes are no joke and, having lived through three bad ones last year in Central Florida, I got a huge eye opener on "Hurricane Preparedness". My mother calls me on Wednesday going "I think you and the kitty need to hop on a plane and fly home TOMORROW!". Yeah, ummm.. Mom - that won't happen. She then proceeds to tell me that they are going to rate it a "Category 6" (ummm.. ok - put down the wineglass) and that we're going to get buried in water like New Orleans. New Orleans was a WHOLE different situation and while my heart goes out to those affected by Katrina and Rita, I needed to talk my mother off the ledge. My father, however, was strangely not panicking about the situation. Perhaps because he was zombiefied by the meteorologist's "Cone of Death" on Channel 6 & 9 during Rita. 24/7 he would watch the news reports so, in his opinion, if Doc & Johnny at XL 106.7 aren't panicking, then he's calm, cool and back to his Marine self.

I've come up with some tried and true tips for weathering out a hurricane in the land of the damn rat:

1) Live by Disney - that rat doesn't let anything get in the way of him and a buck. The electricity doesn't go out but, in the rare occurrence that it is knocked out, that rat has the electric company on lock to get their butts out here to get it taken care of!

2) Same for the telephone service.

3) Keep a supply of bottled water because 2 days before the storm is expected to hit, the supermarkets DO mark them up.

4) If you have to go out and buy supplies, double check the date on your canned goods - things sometimes are a tad green when they shouldn't be. Make sure to refresh every so often. Also, keep a supply of batteries because right before a hurricane, Water, Bread, Batteries, Lighters AND Alcohol are bound to be scarce. However, they always seem to have extra soda and chips on display.

5) If, god forbid, your electric DOES go off - keep the number of the electric company's outage line on your cell phone.

6) Skip getting cable - so not worth it - always goes out and those damn techs and their support service take their time to get it up and running AND forget to credit the bill. DirecTV never lets you down!! 3 hurricanes later and we still get a decent signal.

7) If the schools are closed, the courts are closed AND City Hall is closed - WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO WORK? If they Mayor won't get his azz into work, why should you?

8) If it sounds like a train is approaching outside, and you don't live near the train tracks, 9 times out of 10, that's a lovely little twister barreling its way to Kissimmee.

9) DO NOT DRIVE during a hurricane - if its too late, hunker down in a closet and wait for it to be over.

10) Most C. Florida apartment complexes SHOULD be safe - they are pretty well constructed.

11) In my case - learn how to make ice coffee. Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks don't need my $$$ that bad for them to open up. If you can't make ice coffee - crack open the bottle of Merlot that you have waiting for that "right moment" and drink!

12) Realize that before a hurricane, people suffer from that "cone" syndrome where they drive like they are in a blizzard and its sunny and bright. Realize that they are in panic mode and shortly will snap out of it - I highly suggest defensive driving 101.

13) Charge your cell phone ahead of time. Cingular never seems to go out of service. Thank god! Prepare for the lovely panic call from up north going "ARE YOU OKAY?" or "Did you get enough candles" or in the case of one of my friends "Are you guys drunk yet?". (Yes, in my complex, there are some that throw "hurricane parties")

14) Take anything that could be termed a "projectile" OFF of your balcony, porch etc. That includes chairs, plants, towels, wet clothes, etc. etc. etc. Take the trash to the dumpster and do not leave it out front of your door.

15) DO NOT, (and this really happened) TAKE YOUR CHILDREN OUT INTO THE HURRICANE shouting "See what happens to these Americans. Allah sends hurricanes!". Yeah, alrighty buddy - endanger your childrens' welfare for a "Praise Allah" moment. I'm all for religious teaching and tolerance, but when childrens' lives are at stake, I WILL SPEAK UP! (Yes - he moved - praise the Lord!) I still think we have an Al-Queida (??) hideout in our complex somewhere.

16) Finally - Don't overstress and panic. Listen - its a hurricane, and if you follow Jeb's guidelines, prepare and hope for the best, you should be okay.

Good luck!

Posted by Lys :: 9:53 PM :: 0 comments

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Just Because...

Sunday, October 23, 2005