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Moving From The Great Redneck Debate to Handcuff Debacle...

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Monday, November 17, 2008

Moving From The Great Redneck Debate to Handcuff Debacle...

I have to admit. I apparently have a terminal case of "foot in mouth" disease. I'll make an "off the cuff" remark in a convo and next thing I know, I'm finding out that it's a story that isn't on my "Full Disclosure" list. So, here's your turn to laugh at my "blondeness".

Last week, while in conversation with my father, I made a crack about something and said that I should tell you guys about the Handcuff debacle. Well, he thought I was referencing Meowmix's informative post about Handcuffs from a few months prior. However, my reference was not that debacle at all but an incident in college. Quickly, I started backtracking, realizing my oops while timidly commenting, "You knew about that - when Bri handcuffed me in college and I missed my probation & parole final?" Well, clearly he did not. And I needed to 'fess up quick. (Much like the tattoo incident but that's for another day). So, in the interest of full disclosure (and coming clean 15 years later), I'm putting the whole story out there.

Back in I think early 1993, I was splitting time between two colleges - one of which was an all-girls college that I was attending full time and the other school, WNEC, where I took some classes as part of their "School Exchange" program (and where A. & his boy Bri went to school). My college BFF, Barb, and I both had the same class at WNEC and we spent alot of time in their Junior/Senior Housing - Gateway - which was where A., Bri and their 4 roommates lived in an apartment suite. In between classes at the 1st School (where I was a pre-law major), we would often be hanging out at the Suite. Plus, to travel between the two colleges, we'd take the back roads which, because of the harsh winter, were ripe with potholes. So, it was not uncommon for A. and/or Bri to get a call asking for assistance with "Tire Issues" because, well, a gal can't do it her damn self (well I could but why should I when A. always offered to play Sir. Newt, right?)

Well, as the weather got warmer, we spent more time during in between our classes up at WNEC studying, chillin' out with the gang, playing with the ferret (R.I.P. Bandit) and, of course, causing some mischief. The boys loved their pranks and yours truly didn't have much of a sense of humor then. (Well, a dry humor but only A. tended to get that.)

One afternoon in the spring, the boys had some spring fever and "summoned" Barb and I to the suite. Well, being the dutiful student *cough*, I made it clear that we only had a short bit of time because I had a final exam in my fave class, Probation & Parole. Bri assured me that all was cool so Barb and I headed over.

We arrived sans tire problems and trotted into the apartment and next thing I recall, Bri is grabbing my arms, swiftly handcuffing me with A.'s cuffs (he was a MP in the reserves), seats me on the floor of their kitchen and tells me that the cuffs would NOT be removed until I actually stood up. First of all, do you know how hard it is to stand up from a seated position with your hands cuffed behind your back? NOT FUN. Well, I surprisingly didn't lose my temper and, after calmly plotting my steps, accomplished the task. Barb also got handcuffed and I vaguely remember her chasin' the hell out of Bri outside of the dorms when she got out of those contraptions. Of course A. knew nothing about it because HE was in class and missed all the fun. (But that didn't stop him from calling me later to tease me unmercifully).

To add to the drama, I missed my final exam. Thankfully, when I told the professor, the story was so incredulous, he laughed and let me take the exam later. I did have an "A" in that class so even if he did knock my grade down a few points for lateness, I still wound up doing well.

After the incident, the boys thought I was going to blow my stack. However, I'm a Scorpio (which they often forgot) and I knew then the best revenge was served cold. And, in all fairness, two people clearly needed payback - that being A. and Bri. The other roommates were unwitting accomplices in the matter and, since Bri worked for my father at the time, I could quite simply just pull some shenanigans at the plant if I so wished. However, he'd expect that. A., well I knew exactly how to torture him but that was way too easy. Something drastic had to be done to those two.

Well, they did get payback alright, in the form of being handcuffed to a towel bar in the suite bathroom during one of their Saturday night parties, accomplished with the assistance of Ry, one of A.'s roommates and a few well-made cocktails. For graduation, I got a little handcuff charm that I wore commemorating not only my major but also that incident.

So, since then, whenever the handcuff debacle is brought up and I'm in the presence of either of the two stooges, one will always sheepishly laugh and say "Yeah, that's when Lys got her sense of humor".

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Posted by Lys :: 8:11 AM :: 0 comments

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