Just Because...: The One Where Meowmix Does Her First Guest Post...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The One Where Meowmix Does Her First Guest Post...

Well, hi all!!!!! I am a bit nervous….This is my first guest blog ever. Well, no, let me rephrase, this is my first BLOG ever…so please bear with my crazyness.

Now, if you are a faithful follower of Lys’ blog, you know the Holli story…you know, the one where Holli finds out that her boyfriend is cheating with like 800 other girls once he’s arrested for non payment of child support?

Yeah, so….I’m Holli. So, as you know, I bought that fool a truck. A really nice truck, actually. A 2004 Eddie Bauer Expedition. Black, very spiffy, and very expensive now that I have to pay for it. But, I digress…

The problem is that I already have too many vehicles. I have a work car, a winter car, a summer car and a beater car. I mean, just how many vehicles can a gal own, right? So, I really do not have room for the beautiful yet now sullied (because of him) Expedition. So, my girlfriend, the real Holly, graciously let me put the truck behind her house. I should explain that Holly’s back yard is more like a field. There’s a greenhouse back there, a chicken coop, a bunch of farm equipment, several other vehicles and a tractor or two.

So, the FF (F***Face, as I affectionately call him) saga happened in early August. I moved the truck to Holly’s in late August. It’s November. It hasn’t been driven since it landed at Holly’s but now is a really good time of year to try and sell it, right?!?!?? So I go over there and not surprisingly, the truck doesn’t start. Not only doesn’t it start but the little clicker thing that is supposed to unlock the doors doesn’t even work. Ugh.

Well, I may be a lot of things….but I am NOT a mechanic. But, as luck would have it, my evil twin (Twinnie) is dating a tow truck guy!!!!! So, I call her up and beg for help. I knew I was headed off to Phili on Thursday and after talking with her & BB (the tow truck guy) we decided we were going to move it on Tuesday night. On BB’s tow truck is what’s known as a “jump pack”. Apparently, you can charge this thing on your cigarette lighter and it will jump your battery. Hmmm. Ok. And then if that didn’t work, BB would just tow my/his truck out of there on his tow truck. SIMPLE, right????

Tuesday comes, I get out of work early, go vote and head for the gym. I get out of the gym around 8pm. I hook up with Twinnie and all of our plans begin to go awry. We can’t get BB on the phone. Why? Because BB’s got calls. Lots & lots of calls. Things to be towed everywhere. Ugh. It’s getting later and later…. Finally at 10pm, I told Twinnie it was now or never. So, she and I go meet BB to grab the “jump pack” and the gas can. Uh huh….can you see where this is going???

First stop, the gas station to fill up the gas can. No problem, right? Except that I couldn’t close the can. I had to leave the spout ready to pour because there wasn’t a cover for the can. So, I don’t want to put the can in the back seat where it can tip over and douse the entire car with GAS. I am driving so I hand it to Twinnie. But Twinnie already has the “jump pack” between her legs, charging, on the floor. Where is she going to put the gas can? Can’t very well put it on her lap so she can breathe in the fumes, right? Any guesses??? Yep, in between my legs on the driver’s side. Visual anyone??

(Now, before I go any further, I should probably explain something. Twinnie and I are friends. She is blonde and I am a red head. But, I am a dyed red. I’m really a natural blonde. I know that makes no sense, but it is the way it is. So, I am her “Evil” twin because we are the same in most things except that I am dark and she is light.)

On the way over to Holly’s, Twinnie is on the phone with BB finding out how to work the “jump pack”. I’m thinking “OMG, this is nuts. We are going to blow up the truck, my car and start an inferno of Holly’s farm. Who let the two chicks, let alone two blondes, have machinery that could potentially blow things up????”

So, when we get there, Twinnie heads for the driver’s door, keys to truck in hand. She says “OMG, this thing is so dead the remote won’t work!!!” I said, “Yeah, I told you that.” She says “Well, then how are we even going to open the door?” I looked at her, rather incredulously, singled out one key and said “Ummm, have you ever heard of a key????” Even in the darkness, I could see dawn break on Marblehead and she broke out into a slow grin when she realized how dumb she was and then sheepishly said “Well, I don’t think I’ve ever had to use the key in my truck, I just didn’t think of it.”

Uh huh. We are in sole possession of a jump pack people…I’ve never jumped a car and she’s just plain scaring me!!!!!

I get the truck open, using that “specially designed key” and pop the hood. We call BB again because neither one of us can remember if black goes on before red or red goes on before black. And before we blow up the entire field, perhaps (just maybe) we should ask. BB says put the red on first and then ground out the black. Okay??? Then BB says how much charge does the pack have? He talks her through checking that on the pack and the pack isn’t charged enough to start the truck. Are you ready for this? He says attach the jump pack to MY car battery and leave the car running so that it will charge faster!!!! IS HE KIDDING??? (At this point, I make her tell him what she had just done so that he will have a better understanding of what is going on here. Needless to say, she still hasn’t lived that down!)

Now the two vehicles were only about three feet apart. But, you have to make sure the cables do not touch and the jump pack is heavy. So, one of us gets the cables, the other one holds/moves the jump pack. We look at each other and I say “We need to turn the car off first. You know if we just attach this while its running, we’re going to blow the entire place up.” “Good idea!” she says. Again, I’m wondering who let us do this alone as I walk to the driver’s door to shut the car off. We attach, charge for a few minutes and then move the whole set up back to the truck. We connect the cables, Twinnie fires the truck up and we are both exuberant that we were able to get the truck started without the men and without blowing the place up. Twinnie then gets out of the truck and takes the cables off. The truck dies!

BB….What. the. Heck! Please Help Us!?!?!?!?! BB says re-charge the jump pack on my car, move it back to the truck and leave it on there for at least five minutes before taking it off. So, we go though the whole scenario again. This time when we take the cables off, the truck stays running. O.M.G.

The only good part about all of this….is that FF is still in jail!!!!

Oh, and by the way, I have a really nice truck for sale if anyone is interested!

MEOWMIX UPDATE:

Oh, and I forgot to mention that neither one of us had a flashlight so we were doing this all by the light of cell phone. :)

Labels: Friends, Guest Blog, Random Mess

Posted by Lys :: 1:48 PM :: 5 comments

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008