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Oy Vey… Where To Begin…

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Oy Vey… Where To Begin…

In the interest of full disclosure, this blog post is being typed in advance from Seat 3A of AirTran flight 624 to Philadelphia… Yes, I have rectified the drama of all points yesterday only to be hit with chaos after chaos but, you’d be proud – no feathers are ruffled. They tell me they are postponing the flight 20 min. due to weather drama up north only to find that, like a temperamental child, they changed them back to the original departure time of 11:45. And, here I am just takin’ my sweet azz time, looking at InStyle, weighing the merits of purchasing Bon Appetit now or just wait til I return, lolly-gagging and chit chatting like I have all the time in the world. As I’m marching to gate 94, I hear my name “Lys C. – Paging Lys C. Final Call, Ms. Lys C. – please report to Gate 90. This is a final call for boarding.” I’m MORTIFIED! I never hear my name paged like the errant child who has gone astray. I apologize profusely to the gate keeper, the stewardesses, etc. I’m the bitch in business class holdin’ up the damn plane. Now that’s a way to make an entrance...

Arrogant – party of 1. Your comeuppance is ready. Yeah, I deserved that one.

So, in the interest of sleeping 2 hours last night, I decided to burn DVDs on the plane but only have enough battery life to charge 2 DVDs and not the 7 as planned. Yeah, procrastination, party of 1 – you’re late.

However, the cabin crew is amazing. We’ve got soldiers on this flight and they took care of them – upgraded them to business class and everything. Trust me, for stuff like that, I’d give up my seat. Those guys (and gals) put their lives on the line on the daily so they really need our support. Regardless on everyone’s stance on the war itself, let’s keep the people fighting it in our thoughts. My step-sis is headed over to Iraq soon so she’s getting extra good thoughts from me (tho I should ask my sister in law if Kath would like some Captain Morgan Chocolate Chip Cookies shipped over there too).

All in all – life is good – regardless of the bumps in the road. I can’t complain. Even if I did get attached by TWO, not one, TWO palmetto bitch bugs this morning. One was sauntering through my bathroom like “Bitch – come and try to kill my azz. I own this joint.” He learned that Raid mid-air will drop him like the vermin he is – dead. The second one greeted me in the car and I am happy to say I have a witness to the palmetto hit that has been issued on my head. My father, who arrived in town last night, witnessed it all. We will no longer call the slimy rat bastids Mr. Wiggles because, well, I’m adopting a Mr. Wiggles (more in a sec) and those slimy azz rat bastid palmetto bugs and I are at war. Shadow – no help. She got confused and let it live. It was just sittin’ next to her like an old pal when I originally tried to catch that slimy rat last night. She needs to learn that bugs are not her friends. Dogs will be.

Now – onto the Mr. Wiggles update. Mr. Wiggles, Shadow and I have a date on Tuesday evening for the “Home Visit.” I’m excited but it’s my first real “This is it” moment. I’m being judged on how good of a momma I will be to this dog and how NICE Shaddy can play in the sandbox. Mr. Wiggles’ foster mom is amazing. She and I chatted for a bit yesterday and it’s looking really good. Mr. Wiggles is just super lovable, wants to play, etc. It’s just to see how Shadow reacts and deals. Shadow’s a tough cookie. Some days she’s playful as hell – others you need to get out of her way or she’ll whap. She’s hard to predict. So I’m hoping that I can bribe her with lots of “cookiez” and “catnip” and she’ll be a happy kitty cat with Mr. Wiggles as they run off and play like BFFs that they will be. The Central Florida Pug Rescue has been beyond amazing. I have learned so much about the dogs, what to expect and Meowmix herself has been a huge help. I think my dad is going to be excited about the new “grandpet” to spoil but Shadow also will feel slighted so I have to be sensitive to her feelings as well. Don’t worry Mom – will send pictures…

So I’m hearing tonight it’s going to be a “Snowpocalypse” and some peeps are starting to cancel. I’m just going to take it easy on the cocktail intake but I’m going. I haven’t seen Jo in ages and I love catchin’ up with everyone. It should be a great time – love those cats. And, to boot, they picked one of my fave Philly haunt to hang at – even better. However, I guess with the snow and ice and blah blah blah – living in New Hampshire for all those years with 4 ft. of snow and ice and crap made me think “Yo – they are getting a foot – big whuppy wow.” Then my dad reminded me how I’ve been a Floridian for 6 years. I’ll shut up now. And the excuse of “C’mon – how OFTEN am I home. DOH!” doesn’t work when I’m there every 2-3 months. Hmmm.. I’m going to have to find a new angle.

So, with that, I’m off to burn show dvds (which are for my own personal use and not for sale blah blah blah my copyright lawyer can kick big bro’s azz if he wants to push it blah blah blah) so a few of us can have a giggle at our abuse of all things 4” stilettos, Aquanet, rhinestones and blue eyeliner.

Oh – and a note to Ant, BMIC, Melis, DJM and Rifleman – I made sure I was NOT on the DVD that I’m bringing. Homey is not THAT blond. I can screw up my airline tix but, I have to say, letting you see a clip of me with bangs higher than hell and lookin’ like an 80s imbecile (which I was and which I own up to) is soooo not happening. With my luck, someone would put that ish on Facebook and I’m a goner. So trust me when I say I have the tapes and they are not easy to find.

So, with that, I’m off to enjoy my merlot.

Lys – Out!

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Posted by Lys :: 12:50 PM :: 1 comments

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